Ok, so I have come to terms with the fact that I am slightly obsessive about certain things, mainly pertaining to cleanliness. The real truth is that my obsession has been getting increasingly worse as time goes on. What really pushed me over the edge was having a baby. I know what you're thinking..."it's totally normal to be cautious and worried about germs with a newborn..." but I didn't stop there. Let me give you some examples:
- When Josh or I come home, the first thing we have to do is wash our hands. Reasonable, right?
- While we are out I don't touch public doors, handrails, shopping carts, toys, etc. If I do I have my hand sanitizer on hand at all times. (The exception to this was at Best Buy they had Guitar Hero out for customers to play and I couldn't stand it. It was a hard decision because I REALLY didn't want to touch the guitar.)
- We bought a shopping cart cover that covers 100% of the front sitting part of the cart so Macie can go shopping with me. Until we got this I refused to take her shopping after she outgrew the baby carrier where I could strap her in to me and she could look around without having to touch anything.
- If people touch Macie I look at their hands to see how dirty they are. I wash Macie's hands after they're done. This is mostly for little kids and strangers.
- When we were at Disneyland I sanitized Macie's hands after any of the rides where she touched something.
- At restaurants I don't like to touch the tables because they are simply wiped off with a rag carrying germs from who knows what. We have a cover for public highchairs that we use for Macie and I NEVER put food her food directly on the table.
- If we go to a movie I make sure only my back and bottom touch the seat then put my clothes straight into the hamper when we come home.
- I literally stress out about cleaning my house.
These are just a few examples of everyday things that go on. I really can't go anywhere without thinking about how dirty things are. I know it's crazy and that we're exposed to germs all around us yet we continue to thrive, however, I can't seem to get over it. It's not just a fear of getting sick, it's a fear of germs themselves. Have you seen the movie What About Bob? Bill Murray plays a man who has a similar germ phobia. In the movie he carries tissue around to use to touch door knobs, etc. Well, I don't consider thin sheets of tissue paper to be an effective barrier. Do you see how bad I've gotten? I know it is a real problem and I am making a conscious effort not to freak out about certain things. I don't overdo it with Macie because I don't want her to be neurotic about germs like me. There's a difference between being clean and being compulsive. However, at the rate I'm going I will end up in an insane asylum.
Friday, March 2, 2007
OCD Confessions
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5 comments:
I thought you were kind of crazy until I read the part about the movie theatre and now I think you are REALLY crazy.
We have a mailbox that opens from the top and if you don't close it, it will stay open, sticking straight up. I try to ignore it. I will walk past it and tell myself that it's not a big deal. Then I tell myself, "Who am I kidding?" and I go back outside just to shut it. Sometimes Jake opens it on purpose to see what I will do. I'm also OCD about our bookshelves and I don't let Penny ride in the kid grocery carts that are shaped like cars unless they've been sanitized. I think we are all a little OCD about something. Cristin's probably a little OCD about her whole chickens, working away at cutting them up and fitting them into 2-person proportion-sized containers. I've been noticing lately that Penny will freak out about things not being put in a certain place, or the blinds in her room not being flat against the windowsill or her markers not being perfectly lined up. She gets mad at us if we mess it up. It's probably my fault, but I hope that she won't be OCD about stuff like me.
I guess I'm a little more laid back than any of you. I make sure to clean things before I give Jackson food on it, but that's about it. Sometimes I do wipe down shopping carts, but usually only in the winter when I'm sick of Jackson being sick. Overall, I don't worry about things too much. I worry more about getting other kids sick than I do mine. Maybe I'm too relaxed!
I agree with Cristin....the movie thing is probably a bit much but I don't have room to talk. I am going to try not to think about some of the things you brought up or else I will turn OCD on those as well. We'll have to see if having a kid affects me. I try to realize that most germs are just part of life. They are everywhere and I can make myself crazy trying to avoid them.
However, I will have to do a post about my problem with hotel rooms. That is the one place that just absolutely grosses me out.
I saw a lot of me in your "confession." I constantly wash my hands (especially after coming home from anywhere) and make Zack wash his hands as well. Just the other day I changed Carson's diaper in the restroom on the station in the handicap stall and he touched the wall in the bathroom while I was changing him (I couldn't stop him cause I was wiping him down) so I washed both of his hands before we left. Zack started calling me a germophobe when I refused to take the trash out to the dumpster on my way to the car. As if I would touch the GARBAGE BAG, touch the DUMPSTER and then climb into the car. Just thinking about that makes me shudder. P.S. Cristin and Jamie, you guys make me laugh!
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